It's something I have been thinking of always, but with the festive season pre-occupying our heads now, and the general `herded' feeling in the bargain, am battling the arguments in my head. These are times when display of devotion seems to matter more than devotion itself. While I do revel in the doses of creative expression of such devotion, obsession with the what pleases the eye, too much love for glitter - these are things that sooner or later put me off. We humans hanker a great deal after symbolism. It's fine. The problem is, when we judge people by it.
I faced such a dilemma the evening before one of those important poojas, for me personally. The Saraswathi Pooja. The day, that falls around the time of Vijayadashami, is when people decorate their vehicles, pull out their books, tools and worship the lot in all earnestness. In Chennai, there were times I'd gape at cycle rickshaws, the most common mode of transport two decades back. Their wheels would be decorated with festoons that you would envy.
Shocking pink, lemon yellow, white, red, orange...shining papers! My eyes that usually got stuck with the glitter-gold mirrors of sweet shops would feast on these wheels that looked so lovely when they moved! So much in contrast with the grave faces of people who rode them or travelled in them! And so smooth when the rickshaw man pedalled them!
Why would not one want to decorate their home too on a festive occasion of this sort? And why not go more organic? Need of the hour! Your responsibility towards planet earth! Time to press the pause button....Oh no! Guilt has its ways!
The organic dream got shattered though. It's not like I had enough money to spare for strung flowers whose prices dramatically shot up from Rs 10 a foot to Rs 20! Overnight! It's not like I had the energy to travel all the way to places where they sold banana leaves and coconut-flower festoons! Goddess Saraswathi deserves worship. But when your body's so weak, all you can do is with what is around home.
Worship with love. Yes it happened. Worship with the internet to aid you. True true - it's possible! A few dining table mats - fabric and bamboo, that rarely got used because we have not bought a dining table, found their way for decoration. A bunch of flowers that hubby bought the day before still stood fresh to welcome the Goddess! He did manage to get me some flowers, though a lot less against what I'd normally use. Still, I knew we did not need a cartload of flowers to display worship! I spent an hour making a rangoli too, with some old packets of colours, some rice flour, kumkum and turmeric.
Am not sure how pleased she was with me that day. I hope she was! One only hopes Gods are happy. No measure to indicate it! But something good happened that day. I cannot remember what. Thanks to her!
I've had my share of symbolic worship. And liked it too.
Here are some pics:
- underneath the pale mustard colour cloth, actually a blouse-piece, are books my husband and I hold to our hearts, and a newspaper
- kumkum and turmeric - my saviours, for the day!
- these beads, my favourite rosary ever since I picked them up at Shirdi, are a treasure for chanting!
My mind does not rest still -the question continues to haunt, long after the pooja - should grandeur in symbolism mark worship, or austerity? If it must be austerity, why do we humans end up killing each other in the name of God? Why do we judge our own dear ones by what they wear and how they wear, to worship?
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