Of condoms, chaddis and the love war

I was barely six when I wore a saree. I loved watching my mother, neighbours and relatives draped themselves with that long piece of cloth, that it fascinated me then, almost liberating. I did not know its significance, symbolism, or the religiousness associated with it. 

When a neighbour came by to our one room-kitchen home then, I cajoled her into tying the cloth up for me. A one-foot something draped in a five meter swathe is amusing enough no doubt. I can imagine how I looked then, in that half hour fancy. 

Over the years that followed, schooling placed its demands every now and then. A saree for a dance, for a play, or simply for an all-faith prayer...I loved wearing it in spite of the inconvenience.

And every time, it was neighbours who would help me wear it perfect. My love for the five meter wonder has never diminished, although I do not wear it now as often as I did in my early years. It is sensuous. It is Indian. It in a way symbolises love. It captivates.

I always wondered how though, a piece of cloth that does not completely cover the woman's body, that falls on her to make her look all the more sexy, would assume the significance of a culture protector. 

Among feminist thinking women in Bangalore, I have seen how a big bindi takes the shape of assertion - affirming their feminine identity. Cotton handloom sarees, that some male colleagues would love to poke fun at as the NGO brand, have also been so integral to women's voicing out in this part of India. Yet, men would love to use the same fabric, to inflict repression.

Why should a saree-wearing woman spell good character and a woman who does not wear it, become bad? And in what sense? It amuses me no end, that the self-styled `Ram Army' man Pramod Mutalik decides to send saree and bangles to Nisha Susan, the scribe, in return for chaddis. 

Solace: At least, there is some non-violence in his quote there. That he decides to suspend Valentine Day attacks in Bangalore and continue them elsewhere is not heartening though. Karnataka, has long been a communal hatred spewing laboratory. It is only now that incidents such as those in Mangalore have faced flak. 

My question is, how long will he and his likes keep quiet? And what is this weird use of sarees for? It is non-violent no doubt, but to tell a woman that she is `good' if she wears a saree and not if she wears any other clothes! To tell a woman what to wear and what not to!

I love sarees and so do many other Indian women! Nisha Susan who I spoke to a minute ago, says he can send the sarees and she will accept it. ``We congratulate him for changing his strategy,'' says the woman who on an impulse set up the Facebook community that has taken the nation by storm.

Nisha's Pink Chaddi phenomenon is almost Munnabhai like, yet an absolutely non-filmy brainwave that proved a hit. Munnabhai films used Jadoo ki Jhappi and flowers to counter insensitivity and corruption. In Rang de Basanti and the spurt of protests that followed and opened up cases like Jessica Lal's, it was about candles and candle-light vigils.

Through the current wave of protests,  Pink underwear - a nonsensical and imaginative symbol has in a way filled that void after the filmy cascade of non-violent reactions that only died out after the next big film hit their mindscreens. Interestingly, it did spark off violence by the Hindu bigots, but brought about condom and saree return effects. 

The condom brigade says it does not believe in violent reactions and prefers to send condoms to the chaddi campaigners. Nothing more hilarious than such public arguments, for the average Indian who is for once, able to voice his or her mind with some leaning towards entertainment. 

As for sarees and bangles, I guess the right wing groups are highly mistaken about the yardstick to measure women's virtue. A saree makes no woman a goddess overnight, nor does a pair of trousers make her any less in goodness of character. 

Nor do they attain any moral high ground by forcing marriages on unmarried couples on V-Day. In fact, they would go a step ahead in furthering the cause of love - in their war against love. 

What needs to be watched at the moment, is how long the campaign will sustain. Can it move beyond V-Day? Nisha Susan says her group plans to keep the discussion boards alive, and much after Valentines Day. She speaks of a 70 year old woman who wanted send over pink underwear, and a student from Amritsar who said he collected undergarments from his friends to send over. Signs that the public at large has been looking for an outlet to vent its ire.

Pink chaddis have, strangely, channelised that anger.