Unravelling the puzzle called `my wedding'

It's been over 10 months since I got married. Something that overwhelmed me so much with its complexities, futility and madness, that I stayed off writing for a whole three quarters of the year! Save for a couple of pieces I wrote when asked to, by friends, I could not get past a few words every time I tried to write.

 

What is it about the whole thing that created such a huge word-block? When I did start writing a few weeks back, I took to it like fish to water. After the initial months of daze, loneliness, depression and at times even nothingness, am making some sense of it now. Before my memory fades out, I plan to write whatever flashes in my head. In bits and pieces. Individual feelings that got so so rooted in social mindscape. A mindscape that's often dented with ill-will, casteism, and the mutual sense of `me-and-my people are better than you and your people' . 

What's left today? The woman in me? The housewife? The journalist who does not get paid for writing and working from home? The motormouth bahu? A bindaas girl who's got stuck in the many walls of a home, and loves the silence within those walls? I still cannot figure out. Maybe writing about the experience will help.